The information on this page was compiled by an unknown enthusiast and I downloaded it from the net several years back - if it was you, please write to me, so that I can give due credit for the detailed work - CMcL, 2007
Helen Palmer, The Pocket Enneagram: Understanding the 9 Types of People, Harper & Row, 1988
Point One: The Perfectionist
- Worldview
- The world is an imperfect place. I work toward improvement.
What helps Perfectionists
- Notice when compulsive thinking or doing takes over. Schedule free time so that real priorities can surface.
- Question severe internal standards. Question the rules. Settle for adequacy rather than insisting on perfection.
- Avoid turning insight into self-attack, "How could I have been so wrong?"
- Get a reality check. When it seems that others are silently judging, check this out with the people involved.
- Get factual information to eliminate unnecessary worry.
- Notice when One-Right-Way thinking limits options and fair compromises.
- Learn to pay attention to the merit of other value systems.
- Focus on forgiveness:"That was then and this is now."
- Learn to request and receive pleasure.
- Question the difference between "should" statements and "want" statements.
- Use resentful feelings ("It's not fair," "They're getting away with something") as a clue to what is desirable.
- Recognize your own anger signals: putting on a happy face while feeling inwardly angry; polite words in a critically sharp voice; a smile and a rigid body.
- Weekends away. A One away from home can relax.
Point Two: The Giver
- Worldview
- People depend on my help. I am needed.
What helps Givers
- Recognize your own needs rather than meeting others' needs.
- Know your actual worth to others. See the exaggeration of "being indispensable" or "everyone's best friend."
- Identify the desire to flatter and obtain approval as signs of rising anxiety.
- Observe that exaggerated emotional displays can mask real feelings.
- Notice when pride inflates and deflates. See how pride is maintained by maximizing approval and shifting blame.
- Notice when self-presentation alters to become more pleasing.
- Identify an unchanging self instead of the "many selves" that emerge to meet other people's needs.
- See through the strategy of giving to get. Learn to receive instead of overgiving.
- See when overgiving leads to exhaustion and a desire to escape.
- Discern when people really need you and when they don't.
Point Three: The Performer
- Worldview
- The world values a champion. Avoid failures at all costs.
What helps Performers
- The key word is "Stop." Leave time for emotions to surface before hurrying to the next task. Find the fear of feelings that underlies an urgent desire for activity.
- Learn the difference between doing and feeling. Note when activity is mechanical. Robotlike work suspends feelings.
- Notice when fantasies of success replace actual abilities.
- Stay with problems rather than veering off to new projects, discrediting critics, or reframing failure into success.
- Pay attention to postponement of feelings. "I'll be happy after the next promotion," "We'll have more time after I get a raise."
- Notice when you feel like a fraud. "Nobody sees behind my mask. Only what I do is seen."
- Note unrealistic fears of failure when the work pace lessens.
- Be aware when self-reflection or support group sessions become a task to master or the next job on the schedule.
- Learn to recognize feelings. Threes may have to start by naming the sensations that underlie feelings. "My face is hot" or "My belly feels tight."
- A definite time limit for self-reflection softens the fear of emotionality. Begin with thirty-minute breaks and then back to work.
- Get support in making feeling choices rather than staus choices.
- Allow people to love who you are rather than what you do.
Point Four: The Tragic Romantic
- Worldview
- Something is missing. Others have it. I have been abandoned.
What helps Romantics
- Loss is real. It needs to be properly mourned and then set aside.
- Self-absorbed sadness can be broken by physical activity and service to others.
- Eliminate self-sabotage and incompletes. Finish projects.
- See through push-pull patterns of relating. Romantics desire the unavailable and reject what's easy to obtain.
- Discover a version in oneself of what is enviable in others.
- Quiet the attraction toward dramatic acting out. Inform others about how to handle your mood swings. The steady presence of a partner softens fears of abandonment.
- Focus on the good in what's available rather than on what's missing.
- Build support systems to handle periods of sadness.
- Expect that intimacy may trigger fears of loss and abandonment.
- Recognize the sweetness of melancholy and the ability to help others in pain.
Point Five: The Observer
- Worldview
- The world is invasive. I need privacy to think and to refuel my energies.
What helps Observers
- Notice times when thoughts and emotions are withheld from others.
- Observe the hoarding of knowledge, time, energy, privacy, and personal space.
- See the control aspect of censoring information and compartmentalizing relationships.
- Observe that thinking can replace feeling and sensing information.
- Question the belief that feelings automatically lead to pain.
- Note the discrepancy between mental constructs and lived experience.
- Question the three S's: Secrecy, Superiority, and Separateness.
- Learn to value spontaneity and open-ended activity.
- See the discrepancy between feelings that emerge in privacy and the lack of feelings in face-to-face encounters.
- Question the unwillingness to display emotion.
- Find ways to be seen, to disclose, to engage rather than withdrawing.
- Realize that withdrawal forces others to become the active agent.
- Find ways to unite body and heart with mind.
Point Six: The Trooper
- Worldview
- The world is a threatening place. Question authority.
What helps Troopers
- Get a reality check. Are doubts based in reality or are they imagined? Name fears out loud. Check conclusions with a trustworthy friend.
- Avoid nebulous agreements. Get clear guidelines for action.
- A support system is important for all types. For Sixes it's imperative.
- Contain procrastination by setting timelines and action checkpoints.
- Give equal time to positive options. Remember that negative possibilities seem more believable.
- Recognize times when thinking replaces action.
- Find safety in step-by-step guidelines for moving through frightening events rather than avoiding or magnifying their importance.
- Identify both fight and flight as fear reactions. Check yourself for hidden projections when others appear to be hostile.
- If attention fixates in worst-case thinking, (a) imagine best-case possibilities or (b) imaginatively exaggerate worst-case outcomes until they "overflow" by becoming ridiculous.
Point Seven: The Epicure
- Worldview
- The world is full of opportunity and options. I look forward to the future.
What helps Epicures
- Observe the attraction to stimulation and new experiences.
- Learn how opting for pleasure can also be a flight from pain.
- Note mental evasions: Multiple projects, new options, and visionary plans can herald an escape from difficulty.
- See how substituting pleasant ideas for realistic action creates procrastination and problems with completion.
- Discover how superficial activities can replace depth of experience.
- Gluttony goes hand in hand with entitlement. "I deserve the best."
- Face the scope of real responsibilities and commitments.
- Note the fears that arise when self-worth is challenged. Feeling either superior or inferior to others. Wanting to stay in the superior position.
- Question the belief that opposition can be disarmed with charm.
- Notice the tendency to interpret realistic evaluation as criticism.
- Be willing to close down possibilities and commit to a single course of action.
Point Eight: The Boss
- Worldview
- The world is an unjust place. I defend the innocent.
What helps a Boss
- Allow others to initiate. Learn to wait and to listen before acting.
- Note that a desire to escalate the action, stir up controversy, or polarize a conversation may be a sign of rising insecurity.
- Identify boredom or disinterest as a possible mask for vulnerable feelings.
- Focus on the equally valid logic of other people's behavior. See the consistency within other points of view.
- See that confrontation and physical excess can cover actual feelings.
- Note that real feelings can begin with depression. Reframe "weaker" feelings as a sign of progress.
- Realize that a preoccupation with justice, protection, and control often polarizes others into being friends or foes.
- Remember to write down insights as they occur. Work against pervasive forgetting. Review insights to combat denial.
- Learn to channel anger. Both the suppression and the expression of anger can have negative consequences.
- Learn that compromise doesn't mean "quit."
Point Nine: The Mediator
- Worldview
- My efforts won't matter. Don't make waves. Keep the peace.
What helps Mediators
- Notice when others become the referent for action. "Do I agree or disagree with them?" "Do I go along with them or not?"
- Use deadlines, structure, and positive feedback to support personal goals.
- Learn to shift attention when obsessive thought about the pros and cons of a decision take over.
- Focus on feelings when obsessive thinking begins. Ask, "What do I want?" instead of "What do others want?"
- Learn to recognize the signals of passive aggression. Nines control by slowing down and refusing to act. Recognize this passivity as anger.
- See anger as good news in disguise. Anger can reveal a previously submerged position.
- Nines decide more easily when they're given choices. They know what they don't want more readily than what they do want.
- Find the feelings that are numbed by inessentials such as TV, errands, and other ways of postponing action.
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